just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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