Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
