Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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