google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
