vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I intend to get homeless drunk
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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