i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
