Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
