so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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