Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
