we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
