Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
