Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
