The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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