Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
