eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize