If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
