my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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