the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
