SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
