Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
