I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
