just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
