my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
