DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i came on her dog
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
