when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
