I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
