just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
