so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
