This girl is more easily done than said...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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