fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
