Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
