Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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