so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
As shirtless as possible
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
