There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she told me i tasted like america
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
