You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
