called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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