Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
