I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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