So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to have your abortion
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize