I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
