I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
