Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
