PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
