just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
