When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
