i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize