I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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