my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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