You're completely useless in the revolution.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
