I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
