What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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