And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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