Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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