just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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