I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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