I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize