her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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