We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
