lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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