If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
