dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
