i jhust puked up my retainher.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
