Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
