what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
