hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
