Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
