There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
