what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
