So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
