Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
