tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have feelings that need drinking.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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