but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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