Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize